We live alone.

This is probably the most striking lessons I have learnt during the last few months.

Definitely one of the hardest.

Throughout primary school and secondary school, our teachers encourage us. Our parents provide us with support. They want us to succeed, to give us the strongest start in life. At some point we have to begin our own lives. We have to find a way to encourage ourselves. Ultimately, we live alone.

We live our own lives. We share our stories of life with family and friends since they don’t experience our lives first hand. This makes oral story telling so vital. If we are unable to share our memories, life lessons and skills engagingly, they lose interest. Granted they still love us, but we lose an element of social interaction.

At some point the scaffolding that has been there to support us though younger stages of development will be removed. But if, for some reason, we have cheated the system to achieve high marks, appear popular or be momentarily satisfied, the removal of the scaffolding is all the harder.

Perhaps this triggers the onset of depression during the late teens. Particularly during high achievers. Relatively its easy to gain full marks: Find the syllabus. Find a revision guide. Cram. 95%. A*.

I’ve learnt that this is toxic for future development. This method does not stimulate interest, creative thinking or engagement; skills that are unbelievably vital in other areas of life. But for those who have depended on this method soon hit a brick wall at A level/ IB/ university.

  • We haven’t LEARNT how to sustain interest in a course.
  • We haven’t LEARNT how to revise methodically.
  • We haven’t LEARNT how to learn WITHOUT the provision of information in a neat concise booklet.
  • We haven’t LEARNT how to summarise new information.
  • We need to learn how to USE our knowledge rather than RECALL it. 

While “blaming” our parents or teachers for not giving us this skill is attractive, now it is our turn to help ourselves. For how can we expect others to help us if we are too lazy to help ourselves? We are aware that we lack self motivation or self discipline. Thus it is our duty to fulfil our own ambitions.

I do not mean that we shouldn’t seek help from other people. Only that we must not depend on them to give us what we need. They have lives too.

We live alone.

Who we define ourselves is due to our own choices.

There is always a choice.

Choose your own identity.

Don’t let it be chosen for you.


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